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Mugging for Lewisham



Mugging is good for the economy
The Council of Lewisham has appealed to local criminals to step up their efforts for a fairly unsafe Borough.

In a press release published on Monday the Council has justified the unusual step with the decreasing number of criminal incidents in the Lewisham area. "We are seriously worried about this development. Shoplifting, muggings and hooliganism have gone back nearly 20% in the last 5 years. If the trend lasts on, the local Council and private businesses must cut back staff in police, property maintenance, social workers, prison officers, psychatrists, insurances, courts, legal advice, security and hospitals. Only the funny looking Council guys with the tripods, who measure the streets, will then have a save job(...)It may sound odd, but criminality is an important factor for our local economy." The Council has therefore appealed to all criminals to support Lewisham's economy with a wave of stabbings, muggings and rapes, because economy is very important. (press pool)
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